Starting line: Air
Spotting patterns in those you’re familiar with isn’t too difficult. One friend seems trapped in an endless cycle of acquiring knowledge yet never puts any of it into action. An old girlfriend always dates the same problem. Your neighbor, well we all seem to watch the neighbor out our front window and end up with a strong opinion.
But your own? You’re running blind.
Solving this riddle seems to take a shock, a collapse. You lose your business, a career goes POOF. Maybe a wife leaves. Or a loved one passes away.
For some the solution never seems to come. That fractal remains tight. In the wrong direction.
Where you start in life is a vibration that lingers. As a child there’s nothing you can do, this is your lot. In your teens you might start to see something and rebel. Perhaps you discover your ethics don’t line up smoothly with everyone around you. What to do?
The vibration is still running. You might even think you’re on the path out in some way, picking a college major or career of your own. Some of us fought pretty hard for this.
But a fish born inside an easy, beautiful fish tank doesn’t realize he’s in a fish tank. He doesn’t know about swimming in Monterey Bay, for example.
Starting at the top of a culture in childhood, with all needs met and much more, is not an actual advantage on the road to self-realization, or individuation, ascension, whichever word you want to use.
Luxury cars and all the vacations you can dream of might look like stone barriers in the rearview at midlife. Did you actually discover who you are on all those beaches? Did the wine at VIN Wine Bar in Carmel-by-the-Sea help?
Are you authentically you or do you actually have one hand reaching behind, clinging to that old comfort while you play the public role of innovative trailblazer?
Where might this lead?
The fish in your comfy fish tank that holds your high status job and house on the coastal hill might be a complete mismatch for your true self. You confidently carry a natural ease and charm in the tank that attracts many cute fishes to swim with, yet suddenly you’re 45 and quietly miserable.
That ethereal breeze you project has such an easy flow that it allowed you to do everything. And still end up with nothing.
Why?
The check engine light is flashing. It’s been flashing the whole time. There’s always a catch with each fish nuzzling up for a swim. Something is always missing. The shallow depth of this tank leaves you empty. You know it’s not quite the right word, but you feel used.
What’s left?
Collapse.
And then, suddenly, the Lioness appears.
Right in front of my eyes.
An equal. Instant. Depth. Undeniable.
A radiating sun. The warm complement to that ethereal breeze. When combined you have a sweet summer day.
Is she real or merely a symbol?
It doesn’t matter.
I understand.
Finally.
Finish line: Fire
(The System’s “Don’t Disturb This Groove” peaked at #4 on Billboard’s Hot 100 Singles Chart on July, 18, 1987)
“The time must come inevitably, and frequently to people who live amply, when the great gift of sacrifice cannot honestly be withheld and, parallelically, when the struggle must be met, at which time the resources of strength and growth which may have been developed during the more quiet times of acquiring or enjoying can be drawn upon.”
– Ed Ricketts, ‘Breaking Through’